Why I love having a therapist and why it’s ok to need one

Tegan Mathews Website Blog - Why I love having a therapist and why it's ok to need one

I used to think I had to work everything out on my own. This came from the conditioning of my upbringing, coupled with the fact I had been on my own without any support mechanism for most of my young adult years. What I have learned since “growing up” is that having the right kind of support at the times you need it most is far better than doing it all alone and that’s why I love having a therapist.

Yes you can do it on your own

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you have to be all helpless and needy all of the time. Absolutely not! There is nothing worse than a person who can’t figure out anything on their own. And I am not saying that you aren’t capable of working everything out on your own. I actually believe that we as humans are capable of far more than we give ourselves credit for so I know that you could do it by yourself if you decided to, but there are a lot of benefits in hiring a professional.

3 benefits of hiring a professional

  1. By working with a professional on anything, not just on your mind, you can achieve results faster because they can help you to get straight to the cause and consequently the solution.
  2. They aren’t emotionally attached to the situation you are dealing with and therefore can see solutions quicker than doing it yourself.
  3. And they have taken years of additional study to become experts in their fields so they can give you a different perspective, a new understanding, or a better way to achieve success.

Don't become reliant

Do I see my therapist all the time? No. I don’t even see her regularly. Why? Besides the fact she is super busy (and expensive-but worth it!), I don’t want to see her on a regular basis because otherwise I would become dependant on her working things out for me and there is no growth in that scenario. This way, I see her when I need to after I have attempted to solve it myself first. This forces me to apply what I already know and builds my confidence in myself.

Another example

Recently with the wedding planning, I didn’t want to risk hiring one makeup artist after another until I found one I liked (who has time for that) or hiring one that might get it wrong on the day (which I have seen happen…disaster!). I’ve also always wanted to learn how to apply makeup better myself just day to day. So instead I decided to learn myself.

I started with YouTube videos and courses and soon realised I was vanishing down a rabbit hole of lost time. So instead, I hired a professional who teaches makeup and combined with what I had already learned online, I was able to understand specifically what makeup does what and how to apply it specifically for my unique face shape.

Saved time and removed stress

By hiring a professional it saved me time because I didn’t have to wade through unnecessary tutorials that didn’t apply to me. It saved me stress because now I know exactly what I need and can ask for what I want on the day. Plus, it gave me confidence because now I know how to apply my own makeup for daytime, special events and videos. These are all the same reasons why I love having a therapist. It saves me time, stress and grows my confidence.

I used to be ashamed

In the past, I used to be too ashamed to admit I had a therapist. I saw it as a sign of weakness like there was something wrong with me. Nowadays I am proud to say that I have a wonderful therapist (and a coach, a cleaner, a doctor, a mentor, a lawyer, an accountant…all part of my team). She specializes in working with people who have been through similar traumatic experiences and prolonged periods of trauma so I know there is nothing she can’t help me handle.

I now think not putting my hand up and asking for help when I need it is a sign of weakness. Trying to handle everything on my own is a sign for me that the fear of being seen as inadequate, or the fear of not being good enough is in control. If fear is controlling my decisions, then it’s a weakness of my mind. It’s not who I truly am.

Confidence is asking for help

The real me has the confidence in myself, and the intelligence, to say, “hey, I don’t know how to work this out, can you help me?” She isn’t afraid of what other people think. She remains committed to ensuring her past does not ruin her future and this is why I love having a therapist because she helps me to do that in those times when I can't do it by myself.

Are you proud to say you have a therapist? Share in the comments below your positive therapist experiences.

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