Wouldn’t it be easier to just avoid those niggling feelings? Isn’t ignorance bliss? Why do I have to face my fears? What if I don’t want to be fearless? Being fearless just sounds like so much more hard work. Can’t I just ignore my fears and they will go away?
What’s interesting with fears is that yes, you can ignore them, but no they won’t go away. You will always have fears, just like I do and everyone else on this planet. The real question is how much do you want those fears to affect your life? What will it cost you if you don’t become fearless?
What if I dont want to be fearless?
I can assure you, from personal experience and witnessing hundreds of others, ignoring your fears guarantees a life of bland, a life of less than, and a life of regrets and dreams lost. You see, fears job is to keep you small and safe but unfortunately, you weren’t born to be small and play it safe. I don’t mean that you have to go out and skydive tomorrow or throw yourself off a mountain. But if you don’t face the fears that are playing out in your life then your life isn’t going to be very satisfying.
Unless you are facing your fears, then you aren’t stretching, you aren’t growing and you aren’t following the path you were put here to forge. Life isn’t meant to be easy, it’s meant to challenge you to show you what you are made of. Playing it safe is playing it small and in the words of the great Nelson Mandela, “your playing small doesn’t serve the world”. Nor does it serve your soul.
You need fear to know that you are living. If you spend your life playing it safe, then what have you gained by being here? You may argue stability and security but if you are honest with yourself, do you feel fulfilled? Is there a burning desire within your heart and soul to follow a different path? Are you completely satisfied?
Living on purpose
I believe we are born onto this earth to fulfil a purpose and you can spit your dummy out and say “I don’t want to be fearless” all you want and attempt to ignore it as long as you want to, but the universe will always find a way to pull you towards that purpose. Do you ever have that feeling inside where you have so much to be grateful for and everything in your life is seemingly wonderful from the outside, but there is an uneasiness within
I believe we are born onto this earth to fulfil a purpose and you can spit your dummy out and say “I don’t want to be fearless” all you want and attempt to ignore it as long as you want to, but the universe will always find a way to pull you towards that purpose. Do you ever have that feeling inside where you have so much to be grateful for and everything in your life is seemingly wonderful from the outside, but there is an uneasiness within you, like you are supposed to be doing something else? Until you do that thing, you aren’t going to be satisfied or feel content.
That uncomfortable feeling is the difference between doing something you are good at and doing something you absolutely love. It’s the difference between just surviving, and living a life on purpose. It’s a sign that fear has been controlling your life and your decisions and it has you right where it wants you to be. Yet that’s not where your spirit wants to be.
Fear doesn’t want you to be on purpose because that usually means stepping outside of your comfort zone and that is going to be scary. Instead it lowers your self-esteem, minimises your self-confidence, and keeps you stuck in old beliefs from experiences long ago. That’s it’s job. By recognising fear and understanding how it works you are one step closer to mastering your fears. Here’s a few other tips to get you started:
Improve your self-confidence
Low self-confidence is due to what I call the fear monkey sitting on your shoulder reminding you of all the things you’ve ever done wrong or failed at. It keeps you stuck in the past experiences that you would be better off forgetting. The only time you need to look into your past is to see how far you have come and to remember the lessons from those experiences that didn’t turn out how you expected them to.
Taking action is a great way to build your self-confidence. It doesn’t have to be something big, but acknowledging yourself for doing something that scared you a little, will go a long way to building a solid base of self-confidence. Make a commitment to do one thing each day that stretches your comfort zone and watch your confidence soar.
Grow your self-esteem
Poor self-esteem is a reflection of how you value yourself. If you don’t think you are worth “it” then you will never receive whatever “it” is for you. Your fear monkey will tell you that you are worthless, that you don’t deserve to be loved and that you have nothing to contribute to the world because it wants to keep you small and scared.
However, the truth is that simply by being born, you are deserving of all the love, opportunities and happiness this world has to offer. To grow your self-esteem involves focusing on loving yourself more. Each day, write down one thing that you like about yourself and you will soon see your self-esteem grow.
Let go of the past
Your beliefs are formed by past experiences and these are what your fear uses to keep you the same. For example, if you had a ‘bad’ experience with a person who had blue eyes and wore a particular aftershave then your deep set belief will be that anyone who has blue eyes and wears that aftershave will treat you the same. The reality is, that’s not true because each person is different.
You can certainly be more aware of people with blue eyes and that aftershave but by assuming they will treat you the same, you are missing out on potential opportunities you could experience by seeing them differently. Practice firstly recognising when you are assuming someone new is going to treat you the same as someone in the past and instead, get curious and dig deeper to see how they are different. Question your beliefs to see if they still serve you today. Challenge them against the reality of each new situation.
So, in closing, if you are hearing the question in your head “What if I don’t want to be fearless” then know that’s just fear talking . I encourage you to ask yourself honestly, are you happy staying the same? Are you living the life your heart and soul really want to be living? If not, then use these tips to recognise and face your fears and ultimately you will, among other things, gain more confidence and grow your self-esteem.
If you have enjoyed this read and would like to know more and receive additional tools you can use to face your fears, download the Five Easy Steps to Facing Your Fears & Finding Your Freedom.